Adultery - what constitutes it?  

DominantWoman100 54F  
596 posts
6/7/2018 3:47 pm
Adultery - what constitutes it?

Many years ago a man said to me that I was committing adultery because I was having an affair with a married man; I told him I was not because at that time I was single and not involved with anyone. He disagreed with me telling me because I was having sex with a married man I was also committing adultery; I said no, the married man was committing adultery, I was just having fun.

So, what are your thoughts on this topic?
Yes, I was committing adultery
No, I was not.

Pntyme2 44M
41 posts
6/7/2018 4:41 pm

I voted no. I think you are correct.

DominantWoman100 replies on 6/7/2018 6:19 pm:
Here is a definition: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.

DominantWoman100 replies on 6/7/2018 6:21 pm:
I realize this definition doesn't clarify anything, at least not for me, maybe for someone else.

HasteBeatsWaltz 61F  
1242 posts
6/7/2018 4:54 pm

I believe he was the only one committing adultery. Different people believe different of course. Doesn't make those who think otherwise right. Just like we could be wrong. I never looked up the meaning in a dictionary.

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japaneseass 50F  
44704 posts
6/7/2018 4:58 pm

no, you are not. BUT HE WAS...and perhaps, tried to fooled you? because he was guilty? well, no wonder why, and it's him who should have felt guilty...but not you.

DominantWoman100 replies on 6/7/2018 6:26 pm:
As a single woman on this site I have many opportunities to get involved with married men; it makes me think about this issue often. I had the idea to put it out there for discussion and get other perspectives.

gofort5 59M  
12 posts
6/7/2018 5:14 pm

just borrowing the dream

papis_baby_girl 42F  
3872 posts
6/7/2018 5:20 pm

we all have our own personal code of conduct.

while technically you weren't committing adultery, you were giving him the opportunity to commit adultery.... true...not your problem, but ever think of putting yourself in his wife's shoes?

if women stuck together and opposed sleeping with married men instead of being nonchalant about it, then every woman wins.

Just my opinion...

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jg22777 38T  
6 posts
6/7/2018 5:27 pm

It still isn't cool to be the other woman. But that really isn't your problem

thikhead 60M
1634 posts
6/7/2018 5:58 pm

yes, if you were aware of the situation and not victim of deception.

although sadly widely viewed as outdated, as long as you ask,

"thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife [or husband]"

doesnt seem (to me anyway) to suggest its okay

as long as youre not the married one.

BUT before i come off as some self-righteous holier-than-thou fool,

let me freely admit that by that definition,

ive been in adulterous relationships

with at least 3 different women over the years.

redrockrascal 59M
17467 posts
6/7/2018 6:21 pm

adulterer noun,
a married person who has sex with someone who is not their wife or husband

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

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partygald 35F
1426 posts
6/7/2018 7:27 pm

I think if he was cheating on his Wife, the both parties share the blame, IF both parties are well aware of the situation. Whether or not it’s adultery is a technicality. Is that answer relevant? 😝. Kinda like going to the dr and telling him/her you feel pain in your ankle, while drs like to use the term “pressure”. “Do you feel pressure here?” Fuck you dr. It hurts either way 😑

I was saying, whether it’s adultery or not, if both parties knowingly engage in it, then both have to share the blame. But!! We’re all adults, so if you know the consequences and still commit to your actions, then you deal with it. It’s really no biggie. Like I said, we’re all adults (well, most of us are 🤪)

Still, this is just my opinion😋

Heathen_G 59M
4570 posts
6/7/2018 9:38 pm

You were enabling adultery , but certainly not committing adultery... He was.

Lady_Jayne_Layne 36F  
3498 posts
6/7/2018 10:34 pm

Nothing is in black and white. I had to struggle with that when a former FWB got a serious girlfriend, I had to wonder was I an accessory to his cheating or not? I think that although you were definitely a side piece, the fault was with him. He stepped out on his wife, you didnt step out on your spouse.

Tripping the Light Sarcastic

sphxdiver 68M  
20035 posts
6/7/2018 11:03 pm

I'd have to say, you weren't.

The man you were with was the one committing adultery

ProfessorNaught 105M
908 posts
6/7/2018 11:26 pm

Not by the definition of the word!
But people make up their own definitions. It's like trying to read the US Constitution (circa 1790±) using a dictionary published in 2018 and attempting to apply today's definitions to something conceived and written 250 years ago when the dictionary (circa 1850±) did not exist yet. But people do it every day and will even truncate sentences in their efforts to prove this is what someone else said or meant - especially media.
Basically, the guy accusing you was a jackass

s2ndegree 59M  
7766 posts
6/8/2018 12:14 am

In a1936 ruling in the case of Richard Blynd vs. Betty Woolover.
No,it isn't

Using more than all the road!

Ienjoythetaste 69M  
2319 posts
6/8/2018 12:39 am

You are right.

The main thing is did you both enjoy it.

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letschataboutit9 56M
20 posts
6/8/2018 6:10 am

It's on him, not on you. Enjoy the ride.

CowboyandaGeek 36M/33F  
223 posts
6/9/2018 8:23 am

You're single and free to do what you want. Some might not like the fact that you're knowingly playing with a "taken" man, but HE is the one with a wife, and it is HIS responsibility. You're golden, lady.

DominantWoman100 replies on 6/9/2018 3:31 pm:
I do like your attitude! Thanks

tasteetori 25F
3 posts
6/9/2018 4:20 pm

    Quoting jg22777:
    It still isn't cool to be the other woman. But that really isn't your problem
took the words right out of my mouth !

TravelingMan524 65M  
226 posts
6/10/2018 10:23 pm

To me since you are aware of the situation you share the guilt.
iOn the other hand I fuck around and feel very little guilt.
I just wish my wife would fuck around too.

gDfranc 67M
25 posts
6/11/2018 8:33 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    You were enabling adultery , but certainly not committing adultery... He was.
and enabling is same as accessory to a crime ,,,just my thoughts

shyhrny 41M
32 posts
6/11/2018 9:54 pm

yeah as they choose to cheat...if u are both aware though, that could be either way ...but what happens if u are at the bar, meet up and find out afterward they are the cheater?

scottrdc 41M
28 posts
6/13/2018 8:50 am

tough one....

helpfulstranger2 47M
35 posts
6/15/2018 5:38 am

My wife is fucking around , if the guy don't know she is married not his fault . If he knows then it is

guyinnova112 53M  
9 posts
6/18/2018 6:24 am

By definition adultery is the name of a sex act involving intercourse between a married person and another who is not the married person’s spouse. So, yes, you engaged is a sex act that’s considered adultery. Some jurisdictions consider both parties adulterers, some just the married party. Either way, the other spouse is the victim and probably doesn’t feel the other woman/man is without fault knowing they had sex with a married person. It can devastate people.

JnDinIL 68M/68F  
1 post
6/19/2018 8:31 am

We've always considered that 'adultery' requires sneaking, hiding things, and lieing to one's spouse/SO. If you have no spouse/SO, then you're not there. If he was, then he's guilty. Imho, of course.

Shifgrethor 63M
588 posts
6/20/2018 3:28 pm

Applying labels, or using labels for name calling, is often a way to avoid examination of the actual issues. While trying to avoid labels, here is what the relevant issues appear to be.
Adultery involves various legal and moral concepts, and they vary by place, culture, and personal belief. A married man having sex with an unattached woman meets the legal definition of adultery. This is true even if the married man's wife knows of and consents to her husband having sex with another woman. It has criminal penalties in 17 states, although some of the penalties are very minor. Most of the states will only punish the one who was married. In AZ, both are guilty of a class 3 misdemeanor. Civilly, the unattached woman might be liable to the wife for alienation of affection.
Morally, the married man needs to be accountable for his relationship with his wife. If he is cheating or betraying a trust, shame on him. There are likely to be adverse consequences. As for the unattached woman, there is a huge spectrum of possibilities. She is not guilty of cheating or betraying a trust unless there is a separate relationship directly between her and the wife. However, some question the morality of sex with anyone to whom you are not married, and some feel any consensual sex between adults is fine. As with most moral choices, it is an individual decision.

Manimready343 27M
3 posts
6/23/2018 6:33 pm

I despise cheaters

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